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    Dear Vues Master:
    I hate to complain about going to simchas
    but am I the only one that can’t stand going
    to all these weekday weddings? Over this
    summer I’ve been invited to 8 chasunas. 7
    of them were weeknights. I have a full time
    job. It’s not easy to go to a simcha & get
    home at 1am and go to work the following
    day at 7am. Just venting….
    Vues Master’s Note: It sure beats going to

    Dear Vues Master:
    It’s amazing how people could afford
    school tuition, camps, mortgage, bungalow
    colonies, Yeshiva break vacation during
    January & vacation between camp &
    yeshiva starting. How do people do it???
    It seems that everyone in my bungalow
    colony went for a week’s vacation this
    week before the yeshivas open. I feel like
    a horrible parent because I told my kids we
    can’t go anywhere this week. Tati needs to
    Vues Master’s Note: I guess you did not
    want to add to your credit card debt!

    Dear Vues Master:
    I can’t believe how expensive the American
    Dream Mall is! I took my family there
    this week between camp & yeshiva & I

    couldn’t believe how much they charged
    for miniature golf & their museum. It was
    over $25 per person for something that
    takes about a half hour. With a family of
    5 children it cost me almost $1,000 for the
    day! Obviously we had a choice whether
    to go there or not but once we were there
    we couldn’t believe how much everything
    was. They had plenty of kosher food & that
    wasn’t cheap but definitely was not crazy.
    Vues Master’s Note: You are paying for
    the immigrants! Biden is giving away free
    money for them while we are left holding
    the bag!

    EL AL Israel Airlines announced last week
    the schedule for its two new weekly flights
    between Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood
    International Airport and Ben Gurion
    Airport in Tel Aviv beginning April 15,
    2024, a week before Pesach. As a person
    that lives in Florida six months a year, I’m
    very happy about this.
    Vues Master’s Note: We’re getting ready
    for Moshiach!!

    Dear Vues Master:
    This is the time of year when a lot of parents
    are saying goodbye to their children who are
    off to Israel for a year (or longer), going off to
    college or otherwise moving out of the family

    home for an extended period.
    Because they won’t say it, I will…
    it can be really, REALLY tough.
    Few parents will want to talk about
    the surprising amount of pain and
    anxiety, feelings of loneliness and
    ‘what now?’ – even if you still
    have a house full – that having a
    child leaving home will create.
    Being blessed with children, when
    so many people are not blessed in
    that way is amazing. And having
    children who have matured and
    developed to the point that they can
    leave (and are sometimes eager to)
    is a huge success, that again not
    everyone gets to have. So nobody
    wants to be so insensitive to others,
    or appear so ungrateful as to mope
    or vent about this. But if you know,
    you know – it IS tough. When our
    oldest left home for yeshiva I was
    in a funk for weeks. I moped and
    I was very very sad. And he only
    went to Riverdale!!! (and I saw him
    every week, and I was STILL sad.)
    And for every child afterwards
    I was both incredibly proud and
    happy, and also really sad… This
    may not be you, and if you are
    thrilled, happy, proud etc without
    any or many of the other emotions,
    I am very pleased for you. If you are
    in pain as well, know that despite
    all the happy FB posts and pictures
    you are definitely not alone. And I,
    and many others, are always happy
    to talk. Any comment that says
    ‘in my day we sent our kids off to
    yeshiva and spoke on the phone
    once a month will be deleted!)
    Vues Master’s Note: My comment
    is exactly what you want to erase!

    Dear Vues Master:
    A group of Yeshiva boys were
    having a discussion as to the
    origin of earthly objects. First,
    they argued the age-old question

    as to which came first, the chicken
    or the egg. But Judaism has an
    answer for that, as one student
    promptly pointed out: the chicken
    came first. Otherwise, the egg
    could not have been laid, and the
    original chicken had to be created
    by G-d. “I have another question,”
    said one of the boys. “Which came
    first, the doctor or the lawyer?”
    The boys looked in their ספרים,
    but couldn’t find an answer, so they
    consulted their Rebbi. “The doctor
    came before the lawyer,” said the
    Rebbe, unhesitatingly. “How so?”
    asked the boys. “Because a doctor
    was necessary as soon as man was
    created, when השם cut Adam’s
    rib,” the Rebbe explained. “‏But a
    lawyer only came around when
    Kayin killed Hevel.”
    Vues Master’s Note: I just want to
    know what came first, the Rebbe or
    the principal. I don’t know what hit

    Dear Vues Master:
    The Chasam Sofer. felt that he
    might have offended the Yismach
    Moishe (R. Moishe Teitelbaum
    ZT”L) by being overly critical
    of Chasidim. The Ch. S. sent an
    apology letter trying to appease
    him. The Ch. S. starts by asking the
    following question. How do Chazal
    know that דבש of the המינים שבעת
    are dates? On the pasuk of
    Rashi כל שאור וכל דבש לא תקטירו
    explains that nectar from all fruits
    is called דבש So how did Chazal
    know that it is not any other fruit
    but dates? The Ch. S. answered, that
    by ביכורים it says מראשית ) is also
    translated the best) Chazal knew
    the sweetest and the best honey
    comes from a Teitelbaum (dates).
    Vues Master’s Note: Oh! How

    Dear Vues Master:
    This past Monday, archaeologists
    in Yerushalayim have discovered
    a 300-meter (985-foot) portion

    of a Second Beis Hamikdash-
    era aqueduct, the longest such

    continuous stretch ever found
    in Israel’s capital. The ancient
    waterway was discovered at
    a building site in the southern
    Jerusalem neighborhood of Givat
    HaMatos. Is there a bracha or
    something that we should do when
    this happens?
    Vues Master’s Note: Wow! If that is

    Dear Vues Master:
    The maggid of Kelm was once at
    a ברכות שבע at which the chosson
    spoke but didn’t include תורה דברי
    and the kallah wore a dress that
    wasn’t sufficiently modest. He
    remarked that they seem to make a
    perfect couple.
    .הוא אין לו תורה והיא אין לה סחורה”
    Vues Master’s Note: It is a big

    Dear Vues Master:
    When a girl starts dating, she wants
    ברסקר חיים רב. When she can’t get
    that, she wants
    gets she When .רב חיים נאה
    .רב חיים עוזר wants she ,married
    Vues Master’s Note: And she acts
    as the Knegdo!

    Dear Vues Master:
    What’s the difference between
    complete and finished? When
    you’re single, you’re incomplete.
    When you marry the right woman,
    you’re complete. When you marry

    the wrong woman, you’re finished.
    And when you marry the right
    woman who sees you with the
    wrong one, you’re completely
    Vues Master’s Note: Unfortunately
    we have so many that never begin
    to forget about completeness!

    Dear Vues Master:
    What did Noach say to his mother
    in law as the flood waters were
    rising? “You take the next ark.”
    Vues Master’s Note: Another
    mother-in-law joke? How many
    are there?

    Dear Vues Master:
    There are three stages to marriage.
    In the first few months, the husband
    speaks and the wife listens. In the
    next few years, the wife speaks
    and the husband listens. After that,
    they both speak and the neighbors
    Vues Master’s Note: I am at the
    point where these recycled jokes
    don’t even enter my ears!

    Dear Vues Master:
    And you shall inquire and they will
    teach you the word of the judgment.
    -Devarim 17:9 “And you shall
    inquire and they will teach you,
    etc.”: It is up to you to make these
    inquiries, (i.e. to find out from the
    Supreme Court) why they ruled as
    they did. The judges are obligated
    to explain their ruling to you once
    you ask them; however, if you did
    not ask them they are not obligated
    to volunteer it. – Or HaChaim One
    can surmise that it is appropriate
    to inquire of the Supreme Court
    to explain themselves despite their

    elite status which one would think
    is beyond suspicion. How much
    more should one inquire of a
    single rabbi for his reasoning. Rav
    Shlomo Brevda lamented how
    people do not challenge what they
    are told. According to the Law that
    they teach you and the judgment
    that they tell you shall you do.
    You shall not turn aside from
    the thing that they tell you, right
    or left. -Deut. 17:11 “You shall
    not turn aside from the thing that
    they tell you, right or left”: Even
    if they [the judges of the Great
    Sanhedrin] tells you about what
    appears to you to be right that it
    is left, or about what appears to
    you to be left that it is right, you
    have to obey them; how much
    more so if they tell you about
    what is evidently right that it is
    right and about what is left that it
    is left. – Rashi Yeshiva Bachurim,
    and those that teach them, use this
    verse as proof that one must trust
    a rabbi even if it doesn’t make
    sense; however, this only applies
    to the Sanhedrin. One should
    only follow something unless it
    makes sense or it makes sense to
    their father. Rav Moshe Feinsten
    says, “This volume [Igros Moshe]
    contains in large measure the
    responsa I have written to those
    requesting my halachic opinions.”
    If he considers his responsa an
    opinion what can be said about the
    rest of us?
    Vues Master’s Note: It is the same
    that you are so focused on your
    respect that you can’t think of
    anything else!

    Dear Vues Master:
    And it shall be, if ekev (Heel) you
    hearken to these judgments, and
    heed them and do them. Devarim
    7:12 Re’eh (See), I set before

    you this day a blessing and curse.
    Devarim 11:26 Shoftim (Judges)
    and officers you shall appoint
    for yourselves in all of your
    gates that the Lord your God
    gives you. – Devarim. 7:12 The
    flip side of the last three parshas,
    Ekev (Heel), Re’eh (See) and
    Shoftim (Judges) are revisited
    at the beginning of parshas Ki
    Seitzei. It predicts what will
    happen when a man is callous
    like the heel of their foot and
    neglects respecting his father.
    Here are the consequences in
    Ki Seitzei using the expressions
    of the previous parshios: When
    you go out to war against your
    enemy… – Devarim 21:10 And
    you see in the captivity a woman
    of beautiful form… – Devarim
    21:11 And you shall bring her
    inside your house… – Devarim.
    21:12 “When you go out to war”
    which is done with the heel
    because you were callous to your
    father. “And you see a beautiful
    woman” which you did not
    show your father and marry her.
    “And you shall bring her inside
    your house” and judge her. The
    pesukim afterwards speak about
    eventually hating your wife and
    having a rebellious son. What
    goes around comes around,
    when you disrespect your father
    you will have a son that will out
    do you.
    Vues Master’s Note: I guess you
    just incriminated yourself no
    wonder you get no respect!

    Dear Vues Master:
    The Gaon of Sanz,
    married was ,רבי חיים הלברשטאם
    five times. When his fourth wife
    died, he decided to marry yet
    again, notwithstanding his old
    age. His son tried to dissuade him

    from doing so, but to no avail. “If
    I need to marry a seventh time,”
    חיים רבי said, “that too would be
    proper, since I would be fulfilling
    “.כל מקדש שביעי כראוי לו
    Vues Master’s Note: Hard to

    Dear Vues Master:
    לא תראה את חמור אחיך —
    הקם תקים עמו
    Did you know? When traveling on
    the road and you see a Yid (even
    non-frum) stuck on the side of the
    road, you might be עובר on a לאו
    & עשה if you don’t stop and go
    out to help him.
    Vues Master’s Note: How great
    are Chaveirim!

    Dear Vues Master:
    Why is it that at every major
    Kosher supermarket in Brooklyn
    you never see any Yidden
    working at the checkout stand?
    I see Jews begging for money
    almost everyday on the street,
    but why won’t they work at these
    supermarkets? Aren’t we supposed
    to employ our own first? I hear
    the argument that it’s expensive
    to live in Brooklyn, yet all the
    Mexicans working at the checkout
    stand someone survive in the city
    and lots of them also have big
    families! What’s going on?
    Vues Master’s Note: These days no
    one wants to work. Big difference
    between a large Jewish and
    Mexican family is tuition and the
    price of kosher food!!

    Dear Vues Master:
    A man runs into the vet’s office
    carrying his dog, screaming for

    help. The vet rushes him back
    to an examination room and
    has him put his dog down on
    the examination table. The vet
    examines the still, limp body and
    after a few moments, tells the man
    that his dog, regrettably, is dead.
    The man, clearly agitated and not
    willing to accept this, demands a
    second opinion. The vet goes into
    the back room and comes out with
    a cat and puts the cat down next
    to the dog’s body. The cat sniffs
    the body, walks from head to tail,
    poking and sniffing the dog’s
    body and finally looks at the vet
    and meows. The vet looks at the
    man and says, “I’m sorry, but the
    cat thinks that your dog is dead,
    too,” The man is still unwilling
    to accept that his dog is dead. So
    the vet brings in a black Labrador
    retriever. The lab sniffs the body,
    walks from head to tail, and finally
    looks at the vet and barks. The vet
    looks at the man and says, “I’m
    sorry, but the lab thinks your dog
    is dead too.” The man, finally
    resigned to the diagnosis, thanks
    the vet and asks how much he
    owes. The vet answers, “$650.”
    “$650 to tell me my dog is dead?”
    exclaims the man. “Well,” the
    vet replies, “I would only have
    charged you $50 for my initial
    diagnosis. The additional $600
    was for the cat scan and lab tests.
    Vues Master’s Note: We need an
    urgent care for this joke!